Harrison Butker’s recent controversial commencement speech got me thinking about what I would say to graduates who are embarking on their next journey and reminiscing about some things that were said to me along the way.

By Susan L Combs | May 17, 2024 at 04:59 PM

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I’m on a flight back to NYC from Missouri and I’ve been reflecting a lot about where I come from and where I made my adult life and feeling a lot of gratitude.  With graduation season upon us, I think back to when I graduated from high school in 1997, with a class of 15 students in a small farming community called King City, in the Northwest corner of Missouri.  I had a full ride in Chemical Engineering with an Air Force ROTC Scholarship to the University of Missouri and I thought my life was all mapped out.  What I never expected was basically an opposite career path that involved six declared majors, graduating with a Hospitality degree from the College of Agriculture, Food and Natural Resources and landing a job to be a banquet manager in New York City at the World Trade Center in May of 2001. And then a few short years later, I transitioned into the realm of insurance and have remained here for the past two decades.   

When I think about this journey, it reminds me of the quote by Henning Mankell: “You can have more than one home.  You can carry your roots with you, and decide where they grow.”

Over the past week, as I was back in Missouri, there was a lot of news about Harrison Butker’s commencement speech, which took place at a small Benedictine college about 30 minutes from where I grew up. Let’s just say as a progressive career woman, there were a lot of parts for me that went over like a lead balloon.  I’m not into talking politics or religion, but it got me thinking about what I would say to graduates who are embarking on their next journey and reminiscing about some things that were said to me. So here goes…

Dear Graduate—-

You have permission to soar.  

I had a father who had one foot in the world and one foot back on the farm, which means I was shown a unique perspective while growing up.  Our mother owned a travel agency, and our father was a Major General in the Air Force and a civilian judge, which allowed my brother Matt and I to be shown the world at a young age.   We were exposed to different people, places and ideas that helped us learn that the world was bigger than our backyard; however, we were never dissuaded from returning back to our hometown if that’s what we decided to do. 

We were given permission to soar.  

We were never told that something was outside of our reach or that we’d be better served by taking an easier road.  We were encouraged to dream endlessly, think big, use logic, embrace differences, do for others when we can, build a tremendous work ethic, and that nothing would be handed to us. My father also told us to “be careful of the toes you step on today, because they could be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.”  

They gave us permission to soar.  

But the best lesson I think I learned when I reflect on my nearly 20 years as a business owner, is the simple lesson of being open.  You will come to a place, some years from now, where you will look back on the points of your life that have made a significant impact in your trajectory in this world.  And if you are like me, each point where I had my next big success was when I was open to something new.  New certifications or designations in my career, new products to learn and educate others about, new leadership and board opportunities, new roles as a public speaker, author or as a founder of a non-profit.  When I was open, I was allowed the fortitude to grow more as a person, to be tenacious, and to build character.  

I gave myself permission to soar.  

I haven’t achieved all of this on my own; I have an incredible crew and tribe of both men and women who inspire me to keep pushing forward and striving to be better every day. This is my hope for you: Remember that no one gets where they are alone. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up and help you reach the next level. Never apologize for wanting more for yourself, for having a seat at the table, for being the breadwinner, for building an empire, for deciding to get married (or not), for deciding to have children (or not), or for being true to yourself.

You have permission to soar.  

As you embark on this next chapter of your life, whatever that may look like, it’s important to remember where you came from, as this has built your foundation. However, also give yourself the space and opportunity to grow. Your upbringing will shape your perspectives, but you might discover that some of the things you’ve learned along the way are completely wrong. Embracing this can be a tremendous life lesson if you are willing to learn it.

Often, we try to shrink ourselves to fit into the places we’ve outgrown, but a square peg will never fit in a round hole; so bring your own saw and make that sonuvabitch fit. Take the time to see the good in every situation—the more you focus on the good, the more you’ll inspire others to do the same. 

And don’t forget…

You have permission to soar.  

Warmly,

Susan L Combs